Have you been feeling like this?
- Rehearsing what you plan to say before speaking
- Replaying conversations afterward and searching for mistakes
- Worrying that others will notice you sweating, blushing, trembling, or becoming nervous
- Avoiding eye contact, speaking up, or initiating conversations
- Feeling capable at work while worrying others will discover you are not competent
- Declining opportunities because they would make you more visible
More than shyness
Social anxiety is a persistent fear of being judged, embarrassed, rejected, criticized, or visibly anxious in front of other people. Your attention turns inward as you monitor how you are coming across.
Avoidance provides immediate relief. That relief can teach your brain that the situation really was dangerous and that avoidance kept you safe. Over time, more situations can begin to feel threatening.
Why treatment can feel counterintuitive
Most people respond to anxiety by trying to reduce it, hide it, or escape. Exposure-based therapy asks you to gradually approach situations that make you uncomfortable while reducing the protective behaviors you normally use to feel safe.
This does not mean being thrown into your worst fear. We work collaboratively to build manageable practices and understand the strategies maintaining the anxiety.
Exposure and response-prevention-informed treatment
Exposure means intentionally and gradually approaching situations you have been avoiding. Response prevention means reducing behaviors used to escape, conceal anxiety, or prevent evaluation.
- Speak without mentally rehearsing every sentence
- Allow a pause or imperfection in a conversation
- Attend an event without using your phone as a shield
- Contribute in a meeting without overpreparing
- Remain present even when you notice sweating or a racing heart
- Let someone form an opinion without trying to control it
When anxiety stops making the decisions
Progress does not require becoming the most outgoing person in the room. It can mean participating more fully at work, spending less time replaying conversations, and choosing what matters rather than what produces the least anxiety.
The goal is not a life without discomfort. It is a larger life in which discomfort does not have the final vote.